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seriously. Crappy painted paper. That's what is happening right now. I'm learning to trust, I'm willing to try something new. The assignment was "paint to music". So, I put on some music (Barber Adagio for Strings, "Good to Me, Audrey Assad) and painted. The issue is the paint-acrylics. The only thing acrylics have going for them, for me, is the super cleanability without toxins. Water and soap, so nice. But, so far, the paint is eluding me. Monday and Tuesday were comprised of me stomping around and being angry as paint was sticking to paper. Crappy painted paper. That's what was happening. 

Today, though, I decided to chill. Listen to the music, and paint. 
It's still crappy painted paper, but there's not the anger attached to the work. Maybe we'll get somewhere, maybe not. BUT it's okay to just apply paint to paper while listening to music. 



These won't go anywhere. I might gesso (something I learned about, GESSO- I love it. You can paint with gesso over a painting and erase. NICE. In the meantime, you can feel the energy, the creation. Intuition versus judginess. PLAY. 



 

Stay tuned.......


As a newly "indoctrinated" artist, I am still struggling with the words and the work. BUT recently have found new words to describe my past. While I feel great gratitude for this path that I'm on, it's revelations can be difficult. For Instance:

 

1. During my MFA process (I'm a maker who was a complete newbie to the critique process and etc.) it seems that I followed a certain progression that I am now willing to honor. 

     Firstly, I tried to throw everyone off the path of myself. I hid clues, listened to an internal conversation but did not feel compelled to share it, and had a few real failures.....especially during the first semester of my second year. I had a lot of stories to tell! 


     Secondly, after telling many stories I began to be obsessed with mirror covers (!) and then mirrors and breaking them and transforming them in photographic processes with running water. My message was-"there's a lot going on in here, but you are not privy to it!" Even my thesis show was about the shells, screens, and walls that we exist within, so that the true self is protected and not revealed. Frosting mandalas, videos about gingerbread walls, and big white curtains with video barely revealed through it.....my work was not carthartic, it was a shield......


     Thirdly, I did not connect at all with the thesis process because I did not know yet what was happening....and now, as I look at my work, I'm honored but humbled. More, though, in terms of what will happen next. I feel ready to listen to my "self" and reveal my own being. There will probably be some glitches along the way, but I believe I'm ready. 



Thank You for Listening. 

 



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Thank you for checking out my new website! I will occasionally write here as I continue to explore the completion of my mfa from meca in May of 2014!